I met someone a little over a month ago who was introduced to me as my sister. She's about 26 years old I think. I'd never met her before, although I knew she existed. My father you see, disappeared when my parents divorced and I hadn't seen him in over 30 years.
I found him about 2 years ago when searching for my brother. I sent him a card, told him who I was, wondered if he thought about me and I opened the door for a connection. When I heard from him about 2 months later, he has said he struggled as to whether he should call or write. I asked where he had been for 25 years and he said he'd been raising a family and building a business. He claimed he thought about me often, every holiday and every birthday. He also claimed that he tried contacting me, but never received a return phone call. I found that odd, because he said he'd been calling my office and leaving messages with the answering service. My first question was "Why call at night when you no one would be in the office?" and my second question was "If you didn't get a call back, why not come directly to the office to see me, since it was only 30 minutes away?" I didn't get an answer to those questions.
In that discussion he said he'd be coming to Florida to visit with his wife's family and he'd try to see me. We left it that he would call me before his trip. I didn't hear back from him, so I sent an email asking what his plans were and he responded with an email saying that the drive to South Florida was too far from where he was going to be (About 4 hours away.) That kind of told me where I stood in the matter of importance. Here, he had the opportunity to reconnect with someone he claimed to miss, he claimed to think about often, and claimed he tried to contact and he blew it off, saying it was too far. He said he'd be in touch and I didn't hear from him again for another year and a half.
I recently traveled to New York and contacted him, telling him I'd be passing through NJ. I gave him the time and place of where I'd be and surprisingly, he showed up. He also showed up with my "sister" (half-sister) and her husband. He acted as if we were supposed to be best friends instantly. Sorry, but I didn't feel that.
So, my half-sister was pretty pregnant when we met and today I get a text from him (I haven't had a phone call or anything from him since I was in NY 2 months ago) and it says "Cathy is at such and such hospital". Nothing else, just telling me she's at the hospital. Meanwhile, I've sent him copies of newspapers where I've had my photograph, news stories I've been in, etc. No response telling me "wow," or "that's great," nothing.
Now, what am I supposed to do? Do I send her an email telling her congratulations? Do I get her mailing address from him and send a card or do I go all out and send a gift? I'm not sure what to do at all. She hasn't contacted me at all since my visit to NY, so should I assume she didn't feel the "best friends" thing either? She apparently talked a lot about me as she was growing up, telling people she had a "big sister" and he supposedly carried a photo of me in his wallet, that she told him to show me.
I'm at a loss....any words of wisdom, or sharing of similar circumstances would be appreciated.